Habit #5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
When we listen with the intend to understand others, rather than with the intent to reply , we begin true communication and relationship building. When others feel understood first, they feel affirmed and valued, defenses are lowered, and opportunities to speak openly and to be understood come much more naturally and easily. Seeking to understand takes kindness; seeking to be undestood takes courage. Effectivenesss lies in balancing the two.
Habit #6 Synergize
Synergy is about producing a third alternative - not my way, not your way, but a third way that is better than either of us would come up with individually. It's the fruit of mutual respect - of understanding and even celebrating one another's differences in solving problems, seizing opportunities. Synergistic teams and families thrive on individual strengths so that the whole becomes greater than the sum of the parts. Such relationships and teams renounce defensive adversarialism (1 + 1 = 1/2). They dont' settle on compromise (1 + 1 = 1 1/2) or merely co-operation (1 + 1 = 2). They go for creative cooperation (1 + 1 = 3 or more).
Both of these habits are also what the book considers as interdependence. These habits when used will allow an individual to seek public victory. From my personal experience, I do have Habit 5 and sometimes Habit 6 for friends. These two habits makes every group situation that much easier to deal. Especially for Habit 5, when you need to explain your point across to someone else.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Living Habits #3 and #4
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
All things are created twice - first mentally, second physically. Individuals, families, teams, and organizations shape their own future by creating a mental vision and purpose for any project. They don't just live day to day without a clear purpose in mind. They mentally identify and commit themselves to the principles, values, relationships, and purposes that matter most to them. A mission statement is the highest form of mental creation for an individual, a family , or an organization. It is the primary decision because it governs all other decisions. Creating a culture behind a shared mission, vision, and values is the essence of leadership.
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Thinking win-win is a frame of mind and heart that seeks mutual benefit and is based on mutual respect in all interactions. It's about thining in terms of abundance - an ever-expanding "pie," a cornucopia of opportunity, wealth, and resources - rather than a scarcity and adversarial competition. It's not thinking selfishly (win-lose) or like a martyr (lose-win). In our work and family life, members think interdependently - in terms of "we", not "me." Thinking win-win encourages conflict resolution and helps individuals seek mutually beneficial solutions. It's sharing information, power, recognition, and rewards.
According to the book, the first three habits, the two presented yesterday and habit #3 will allow the individual to achieve private victory. Habit #4 allows the said inidividual to achieve public victory. Those are all interesting habits to get but I am still trying to put the first 2 to use.
I know a lot of you might consider reading this type of book a waste of time and whatever "they" say is good but so hard to do. Any self help book is a "hype" that might only serve as an inspiration for a short time, but later on, you will eventually lose the inspiration. I agree to a certain extend along these kind of thoughts, however, I also believe that what a person make do with knowledge will greatly vary the results. What I do with it is, first learn it, recite it in your heart, take out the part that you feel is best for you, write it out, apply the theory in small situation, review it once a month and after a few months of years, you will find that your mind will slowly think along those terms. Food for thought for today. :)
All things are created twice - first mentally, second physically. Individuals, families, teams, and organizations shape their own future by creating a mental vision and purpose for any project. They don't just live day to day without a clear purpose in mind. They mentally identify and commit themselves to the principles, values, relationships, and purposes that matter most to them. A mission statement is the highest form of mental creation for an individual, a family , or an organization. It is the primary decision because it governs all other decisions. Creating a culture behind a shared mission, vision, and values is the essence of leadership.
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Thinking win-win is a frame of mind and heart that seeks mutual benefit and is based on mutual respect in all interactions. It's about thining in terms of abundance - an ever-expanding "pie," a cornucopia of opportunity, wealth, and resources - rather than a scarcity and adversarial competition. It's not thinking selfishly (win-lose) or like a martyr (lose-win). In our work and family life, members think interdependently - in terms of "we", not "me." Thinking win-win encourages conflict resolution and helps individuals seek mutually beneficial solutions. It's sharing information, power, recognition, and rewards.
According to the book, the first three habits, the two presented yesterday and habit #3 will allow the individual to achieve private victory. Habit #4 allows the said inidividual to achieve public victory. Those are all interesting habits to get but I am still trying to put the first 2 to use.
I know a lot of you might consider reading this type of book a waste of time and whatever "they" say is good but so hard to do. Any self help book is a "hype" that might only serve as an inspiration for a short time, but later on, you will eventually lose the inspiration. I agree to a certain extend along these kind of thoughts, however, I also believe that what a person make do with knowledge will greatly vary the results. What I do with it is, first learn it, recite it in your heart, take out the part that you feel is best for you, write it out, apply the theory in small situation, review it once a month and after a few months of years, you will find that your mind will slowly think along those terms. Food for thought for today. :)
Living Habits: #1 and #2
Recently, as I was wandering the many shelves of my small local branch library and imagining to embrace the vast amount of knowledge held within each book, I came across the psychology section where a catchy yellow wrapping caught my eye. A closer look revealed the title to be "Living the 7 Habits" which immediately made me recall the title "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". I have no memory where I had encountered that book before but it was one of those books which I had labeled as a book which I will read later when I have time. I picked up the book and found not to my surprise that it is by the same author. It is the habits from this book that I want to write about.
The book that I had picked up is a book of short stories containing the testimonials of people who had applied the principals of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" to their everyday challenges. The 7 Habits are also summarized in the book cover of the book and today I will like to share with all of you two of them. Although, these 7 habits are not "new discoveries" and most of us may have had similar ideas about developing these every habits too, but from my experience, we need to be shown how important these habits are before we realize how important they are. How these, seemingly unimportant habits can make us more effective or "become highly effective people".
The first habit for me to personally learn is
"Habit 3: Put First Things First".
Putting first things first is the second or physical creation. It is organizing and executing around the mental creation ( your purpose, vision, values, and most important priorities). Second things do not come first. First things do not come second. Individuals and organizations focus on what matters most, urgent or not. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
and the second for me is
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Being proactive is more than taking initiative. It is accepting responsibility for our own behavior (past, present, and future) and making choices based on principles and values rather than on moods or circumstances. Proactive people are agents of change and choose not to be victims, to be reactive, or to blame others. They do this by developing and using four unique human gifts - self-awareness, conscience, imagination, and independent will - and by taking an INside-Out Approach to creating change. They resolve to be the creative force in their own lives, which is the most fundamental decision anyone ever makes.
I hope these help you, my friends, in some way. I will put up other habits later on as I find time to go through them myself. :)
I hope this post is not too long.
The book that I had picked up is a book of short stories containing the testimonials of people who had applied the principals of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" to their everyday challenges. The 7 Habits are also summarized in the book cover of the book and today I will like to share with all of you two of them. Although, these 7 habits are not "new discoveries" and most of us may have had similar ideas about developing these every habits too, but from my experience, we need to be shown how important these habits are before we realize how important they are. How these, seemingly unimportant habits can make us more effective or "become highly effective people".
The first habit for me to personally learn is
"Habit 3: Put First Things First".
Putting first things first is the second or physical creation. It is organizing and executing around the mental creation ( your purpose, vision, values, and most important priorities). Second things do not come first. First things do not come second. Individuals and organizations focus on what matters most, urgent or not. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
and the second for me is
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Being proactive is more than taking initiative. It is accepting responsibility for our own behavior (past, present, and future) and making choices based on principles and values rather than on moods or circumstances. Proactive people are agents of change and choose not to be victims, to be reactive, or to blame others. They do this by developing and using four unique human gifts - self-awareness, conscience, imagination, and independent will - and by taking an INside-Out Approach to creating change. They resolve to be the creative force in their own lives, which is the most fundamental decision anyone ever makes.
I hope these help you, my friends, in some way. I will put up other habits later on as I find time to go through them myself. :)
I hope this post is not too long.
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