Frustration

Do you ever feel frustrated to a point where you could not find release? It is not the lack of friends to vent your anger with but what if the very thing that you are frustrated about has to do with them? What if the frustration is a secret desire, a vile purely selfish desire where sharing such a thought or desire will make your friend think less of you? Or what if the thought or desire is something that you want to keep silent to all your friends? Something that you did not want to share with your friends?

I didn't have such sinister desires or such secret thoughts. However, I do feel frustrated on myself and what my friend did. Yesterday night, I eagerly wanted to get to know a friend that one of my best friend introduced to me. My best friend sparked enough interest for me to seriously consider her. Being too emotionally undiscipline, my desire of wanting to know more about her revealed too much of my true intention and therefore causing the opposite effect. She became cautious and also created the situation where I have become her wimp. I have given the control of the relationship to her instead of holding on to some of my thoughts. With my many different dealings with the gender of the opposite sex, I have found that being mysterious in certain things and only hinting wants are the most effective route. To create interest without the other knowing is the best route to go.

In future dealings with her and other people, I will have to be cautious. I have to show interest but at the same time remain mysterious to create interest in the other.